watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We are all done wearing pants today
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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