Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
