why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
