Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
