Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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