I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
