last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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