his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I AM VODKA MAN
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
