PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
