Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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