I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize