Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
