it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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