long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
