I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
