I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
worst night to have a conscience
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
