ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
