We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
