either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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