so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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