We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
