Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
