Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
