Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize