So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
