I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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