I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
