im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
