When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
