You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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