dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Your cock deserves a montage
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
