the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
