D3 body, D1 cock
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Randomize
