I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
