Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
