i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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