Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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