The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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