She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
