That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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