Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
