the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize