It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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