i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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