WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
