it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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