So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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