i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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