I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
