Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
