I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
