She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
