Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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