I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize