Your mouth is God's brothel.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
