everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
