My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize