Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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