Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
