last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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