if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
