apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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