We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
