I am spending my child support on dildos
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
