Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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