Dual....:-)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
