did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
