So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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