question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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