I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
