Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he puts the penis in happiness.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
