i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize