I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
